Twitter – The Internet’s Newest Cesspool

As stupid and clichéd as it is, let me start this with a few simple definitions:

Mundane -adjective

2. common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative.

Uninteresting -adjective

1. arousing no interest or attention or curiosity or excitement.

Stupid -adjective

2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless.

Mundane, uninteresting, and stupid.  These three words perfectly describe one of the newest internet cesspools, Twitter.

If you took MySpace, and dropped it into a special machine designed to wring out everything but the superficiality, narcissism, and lust for attention, and then you took what was left, put it into some bullets, and then fired them at the internet with an automatic machine gun, you’d have Twitter.  And probably a few dead bystanders.

[poll id=”10″]

For anyone out there who is not familiar with Twitter, it’s a lot like having a blog, except instead of taking the time to think about and actually write a cohesive collection of sentences, your updates consist of one-liners and simple thoughts.  To better illustrate my description, here are some example Twitter entries:

“its already 10:30???!?!? when did that happen??”

“Speaking of food…..lunchtime!”

“At the hospital waiting on Labor and Delivery.”

“Why do I hear windchimes in the office?”

“confused by backpack”

“I can’t stop eating DORITOS!!! mmmmmm”

“i started a juice fast yesterday… i now think my stomach is eating itself!”

Twitter users call these small messages “tweets.”  I refuse to do that.

There’s a reason why I don’t speak aloud every little random thought that goes through my head, let alone post them in my blog.  It’s because, like everyone else, most everything I think about throughout the day (and most of the stuff I do, for that matter) isn’t interesting enough to share with people.  And the same goes for everyone else, regardless of who you are.

Nobody cares if you’re eating Doritos.  Nobody cares about your momentary confusing over a backpack.  Nobody cares if you hear windchimes in your office.  These things are not important.

And yet, thanks to Twitter, the internet is bombarded with a constant stream of similar garbage.  I honestly can’t think of a bigger waste of time – sitting around posting and reading things on Twitter makes a full day of World of Warcraft seem like an exceedingly productive thing to do.  It gives a bad (worse) name to social networking on the internet, and cheapens somewhat more legitimate outlets of information, like blogging.

Twitter annoys me worse than lolcats, and I think that given the chance, I would purge every memory of its existence from the collective consciousness of mankind.  If you use Twitter, please just stop.  You’re ruining the internet for everyone.


  1. Benaroth - Over a year ago

    I think you would like to know that this isn’t like the lolcats for me. I do not thank you for exposing me to it! :p

  2. Dmaster270 - Over a year ago

    lol @ those who choose the stupid answer. I find nothing wrong with LOLCats. Although I do prefer LOLBunnys. But if your going to do another weird choice to a Poll use, “You have no time to ponder such questions as Link just grabbed a smash ball”

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